Sexual Attraction & Orientation

What Is Sexual Orientation?

Sexual orientation (pronounced: or-ee-en-TAY-shun), sometimes called sexuality, is the emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction that someone feels toward another person. It’s who you are attracted to — whether that’s a male, a female, or another gender.

What Are Some Types of Sexual Orientation?

Some examples of sexual orientation include:

• Heterosexual. People who are heterosexual (or “straight”) are romantically and physically attracted to members of another gender than themselves. Heterosexual males are attracted to females. Heterosexual females are attracted to males.
• Homosexual. People who are homosexual are romantically and physically attracted to people of the same gender. Females who are attracted to other females are often called lesbian. Males who are attracted to other males are often called gay. (The term gay is sometimes used to describe any homosexual person.)
• Bisexual. People who are bisexual are romantically and physically attracted to people of more than one gender. Sometimes people also identify (describe themselves) as pansexual, which means they’re attracted to many genders or any gender.
• Asexual. People who are asexual (or “ace”) may not feel romantic or sexual attraction to others, but they still feel emotionally close to other people.

Do People Choose Their Sexual Orientation?

Being straight, gay, bisexual, or asexual isn’t something that a person chooses. People don't pick their sexual orientation any more than they choose their height or eye color.

Most medical experts think that sexual orientation is due to different things, like genes and hormones. It’s just a natural part of who a person is.

When Do People Know Their Sexual Orientation?

People often know their sexual orientation from an early age. For example, as kids they might have crushes on people of the same gender or another gender.

Other people figure out their sexual orientation later on. Sometimes realizing and accepting sexual orientation takes a while. People may think about both the same gender and another gender as they sort through their growing sexual feelings.

What Does Transgender Mean?

Transgender or “trans” is a gender identity (the internal sense of being male, female, both, another gender, or no gender). People who are transgender may have the physical body or characteristics of one gender, like male or female, but feel that they’re another gender — as if they were born into the wrong type of body.

Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity

Just like sexual orientation, gender identity isn’t something that someone chooses — it’s just a natural part of who a person is. A person who is transgender can have any sexual orientation, like straight, gay, or bisexual.

Sexual orientation is separate from gender identity and from gender expression (how people express themselves through things like clothing, hairstyle, voice, and body shape).

Let’s use an example of a transgender male — someone who was assigned, or “labeled,” female at birth but whose gender identity is male. If this person is sexually attracted to just males or masculine-presenting people (people who look or act in ways that are traditionally seen as masculine), the person would likely consider themself gay.

People who are transgender are often grouped with people who are lesbian or gay. You may see the letters LGBTQ+, which stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning.

Who Can I Talk to If I Have Questions?

If you have questions about your sexual orientation or gender identity, talk with someone like a close friend, a parent, or another trusted adult, like a school counselor.

Doctors are also good people to chat with. They can help answer questions about sex, and how to avoid sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and pregnancy.

People who are LGBTQ+ can also get support from a helpline like the LGBT National Youth Talkline or from the Trevor Project. For help in a crisis, you can call the Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386 or text “START” to 678-678. If your parents have questions, organizations such as PFLAG can help.