Planning for Childbirth
As your due date draws near, make arrangements for older kids for the time when
you're in the hospital. Discuss these plans so kids know what to expect when the day
arrives.
Consider letting your child visit you in the hospital as soon as possible after
the baby is born, ideally when no other visitors are around — this helps reinforce
the birth as an intimate family event.
Try to keep routines as regular as possible in the days and weeks around the baby's
arrival. If you plan to make any room shifts to accommodate the baby, do it a few
weeks before your due date.
If your child is approaching a major milestone, like potty training or moving
from a crib to a bed, try to make those changes well before your due date or put them
off until after the baby has been home for a while.
Bringing the New Baby Home
Once the baby is home, you can help your other kids adjust to the changes.
Include them as much as possible in the daily activities involving the baby so that
they don't feel left out.
Many kids want to help take care of a new baby. Though that "help" may mean
that each task takes longer, it can give an older child a chance to interact with
the baby in a positive way. Depending on their age, a big brother or sister may
want to entertain the baby during a diaper change, help push the carriage, talk to
the baby, or help dress, bathe, or burp the baby.
If your child expresses no interest in the baby, don't be alarmed and don't force
it. It can take time.
Some occasions, like breastfeeding, excludes older kids. For these times, try to
have toys on hand so that you can feed the baby without being interrupted or worrying
about an older child feeling left out.
Take advantage of chances for one-on-one time with older kids. Spend time together
while the baby is sleeping and, if possible, set aside time each day for older kids to
get one parent's undivided attention. Knowing that there's special time just for them
may help ease any resentment or anger about the new baby.
Also remind relatives and friends that your older child might want to talk about
something other than the new baby. If relatives or friends ask how they can help,
suggest a fun activity or something special for the older child.
Continue to send your older child to childcare or to school, if you're able. It's
normal to feel guilty about sending your older child away since now you're home with
the new baby (and if you're home, you might feel that everyone should be). But
keeping normal routines is helpful for siblings. And this time can give you precious
one-on-one time with the baby that you might not otherwise have. When your older
child comes home from childcare or school, plan for some quality family time.