Autism Special Needs Checklist: Big Kids (Ages 6–12)

When your child is ready for school, the right education plan can help them reach their full potential. But school isn’t just about learning. Your child will develop social skills, and learn how to be a friend, recognize how others are feeling, and navigate conflict with others.

Follow this 8-step checklist to help your child succeed during the elementary school years.

Step 1: Look for Support at School

Many kids with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) are diagnosed by age 3 and receive early intervention services. When they turn 3, they're eligible for additional services at their local school district with the help of an individualized education program (IEP).

The IEP may include therapy for:

• specialized instruction in certain subjects in groups or individually
• speech-language therapy to improve communication skills, language development, and social communication
• occupational therapy to work on fine motor skills like handwriting, sensory integration, or activities of daily living
• behavioral therapy using behavior management techniques to address behaviors that interfere with learning
• social skills training to address turn-taking, initiating conversations, and understanding social cues
• transitional services to smooth the transition from adolescence to adulthood

In school, kids might get extra support through a classroom aide or during a "lunch bunch" or social skills group. These groups let kids become friendly with other kids who have similar challenges.

You’ll meet with an IEP team to figure out your child's needs. You can't insist on certain services, but you can appeal the IEP if you feel it doesn't meet your child's needs. The team reviews and revises the IEP each year, but you can ask for updates before that to make sure your child is meeting goals.

Kids who do not qualify for an IEP can get educational assistance through a 504 education plan, which provides learning support in a regular classroom. Some kids with ASD don’t need an IEP at all.

Step 2: Get Tech Savvy

Technology can help kids with ASD improve their communication and social skills. Educational apps and computer games and programs can help kids build their academic knowledge, practice social skills, and track rewards-based systems at home or school. Some devices (called "augmentative communication devices") can help kids as they build their communication skills. Kids use picture icons to request items, express their feelings, or converse with others. If your child uses an ACC, keep in mind that it should be used only for their communication needs, not for other games or apps.

Ask your child's doctor or speech or behavioral therapist for suggestions on what kinds of apps or other media can help your child. Many games reinforce skills that kids learn in the classroom or during therapy.

Step 3: Plan Playdates and Social Time

It's important for kids with ASD to play with other children their age, even if it’s sometimes tough. Playdates and other activities help them practice social skills and make new friends. Here are some tips on how to prepare:

• Help your child choose a playmate by looking for kids who share the same interests.
• Plan the activities ahead time and let your child know what to expect. Use a schedule with pictures or create stories to explain what will happen during the playdate.
• Go to a park or playground or do something else your child will enjoy. Avoid places with too much noise and stimulation if you think they will overwhelm your child.

If your child struggles socially, sign up for a social skills group. It can help kids with things like introducing themselves, talking with others, and figuring out what people’s body language means.

Step 4: Get Kids Moving

Exercise is also great for kids with ASD. It can help them be more fit, strong, coordinated, and aware of their body. Regular exercise can help prevent childhood obesity. It may also help kids pay better attention and have fewer repetitive actions.

Many sports programs (like the Special Olympics, Little League Challenger Division, and TOPSoccer) and those at the YMCA offer a chance for your child to exercise and meet new friends who have similar challenges. Karate, therapeutic horseback riding programs, and aquatic therapy are other good ways to keep kids active.

Step 5: Address Emotional Needs

At times your child may feel left out, left behind, or bullied. Kids with ASD sometimes have trouble relating to others, and this can make them feel angry or sad.

Get help from a counselor if your child shows signs of depression, which include sadness, moodiness, or keeping to himself or herself. Signs of bullying include:

• not wanting to go to school
• decreased appetite
• trouble sleeping
• unexplained crying

If your child is teased or bullied, speak with school staff as soon as possible. At home, talk with your child about what happened and use role-play to talk about how to handle bullies. You can also explain how to report problems to teachers, guidance counselors, or other adults they trust.

Step 6: Prepare for Puberty

As puberty nears, your child will be dealing with new emotions that are part of growing up. Talk with your doctor about what to expect as your child matures and how to handle it. Tell your child that the changes that come with puberty are normal.

Teach your child the difference between public and private places when it comes to private behaviors like getting dressed or touching private parts. Girls who get their periods will need to learn how to change pads, while boys might need reassurance that wet dreams are normal.

Talk with kids about good touch versus bad touch. Tell them to come to you right away if they see something inappropriate or if someone asks them to do something that makes them feel uncomfortable.

Step 7: Find Support

Having a strong support network can help you power through tough days with your child. Join a local support group to connect with other parents who understand. You also can look for a local chapter of a national ASD awareness group. If there isn’t a group nearby, you can find support at:

• Autism Speaks

Step 8: Plan for Your Child's Future

If you haven't written a will or set up a legal and financial framework for your child's future, it's not too late. Talk with a financial advisor and a lawyer who focuses on special health care needs law. They can help handle your finances and prepare you for when your child is an adult.

If you’ve written a will, review it from time to time. Make sure the custodial plan you made when your child was younger is still the best choice.