What Happens Next?
After you get the conversation started, your parent will probably ask you to say
more about what you're going through. This part might be surprisingly easy. Now that
the conversation has started, it might feel like a relief to pour your heart out.
Or, this part might be hard. You might not be sure how to put your feelings into
words. Try to get beyond just saying, "I don't know." If you really can't explain
things, try saying, "I want to do this, but I just can't find the words right now."
Give it more thought, but be sure to talk about it again later. Your mom or dad will
be concerned and may ask how you're doing. They're not nagging. They just care about
you.
Sometimes, talking about depression can be hard for parents too. It might take
several conversations, or you might feel better right away. Every situation is different.
If a specific problem has you depressed, a parent may be able to help you think
of something to do about it. Or mom or dad might listen to your ideas for what to
do and give you a vote of confidence that you're on the right track. That can be reassuring.
Whether or not you come up with solutions right away, sharing a problem is better
than keeping it to yourself.
What if I Need to Talk to a Therapist?
If depression is strong or lasts, you might need to talk with a therapist
— even after you've had good conversations with your parents. Let your
mom or dad know if you continue to feel depressed or if you have problems with motivation,
concentration, or moods. Your mom or dad can make an appointment for you and support
you while you work with a therapist.
If your parent isn't sure you need to see a therapist but you feel you do, explain
why. It's best to do this when you feel calm so you can get your ideas across well.
Some parents may worry about finding the right therapist or how much it will cost.
Your doctor, religious leader, or school counselor can help your parent find local
and affordable therapists.
What if Talking to Parents Doesn't Work?
Even if you think a parent won't be willing or able to help, it's still worth a
try to talk. People are often surprised by how much their parents rally to their side
when they ask for help, even if the parents have a lot going on themselves.
Occasionally, parents have too many troubles of their own or other issues going
on. If you reach out to talk and it turns out your mom or dad can't help, go to another
adult (such as a teacher, counselor, coach, or relative). Don't give up until you
find someone who can help you. It's that important.
What Else Can Parents Do?
Even if you're seeing a therapist, there are ways parents can help when you're
dealing with depression. For example, they can:
- communicate with kindness — and agree to ban hurtful criticism, arguments,
threats, and putdowns
- remind you that they love and believe in you
- show affection
- comment on your positive actions and traits
- help with homework or projects you're having trouble with, or get you a tutor
- see the good in you and keep expecting good things from you
- hold you accountable (kindly, but seriously) for your responsibilities at home
and at school
- talk through problems with you
- make sure you get proper exercise, nutrition, and sleep (it's not nagging, it's
love!)
- do things with you that you both enjoy — walk, play a sport or game,
watch a movie, do a craft, or cook.
You might need to ask your mom or dad to do these things for you. You can show
them this list or come up with your own ideas. You know best what feels most helpful
to you.
Talk with your mom or dad about actions you'll both take to help with your depression.
Make a list of what you plan to do. Be sure that your plan includes how you'll do
these things:
- get exercise
- get the right amount of sleep and rest
- eat healthy food
- spend time outdoors during the day
- spend time in relaxing, enjoyable activities, especially with the people you love.
Look at your list every day to help you remember to do what's on your plan —
and to remind yourself that you can get through this. Beyond depression, there's a
brighter future ahead.
Date reviewed: August 2016