Dealing With Feelings When You're Overweightenteenshttps://kidshealth.org/EN/images/headers/T-feelingOverweight-enHD-AR1.jpgIf a person is struggling with extra weight, it can add to the emotional ups and downs of being a teen. Get some tips on coping here.fat, weight, overweight, obese, obesity, bmi, feeling sad about being overweight, overweight and sad, depression and weight, depressed about my weight, anger and weight, angry about being overweight, lose temper, insecure about my weight, self-esteem, self esteem, can't find clothes to fit, can't find clothes to fit my weight03/04/200806/20/201806/20/2018Mary L. Gavin, MD06/01/20189cc87c50-d3f6-4643-8f24-dcaceb2ab86chttps://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/feelings-overweight.html/<h3>Recognizing Feelings</h3> <p>The teen years come with all sorts of changes, so it's normal to face some emotional ups and downs. If a person is struggling with extra weight, it may add to these emotions.</p> <p>Of course, not everyone who is overweight is worried or upset about it. Lots of us know confident, happy people who are overweight &mdash; and thin, fit people who are insecure. But because people often feel pressure to look a certain way, teens with weight issues may feel bad about themselves.</p> <p>If you are <a href="https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/obesity-overweight.html/">overweight</a>, you may feel frustrated, angry, or upset. Being aware of difficult emotions is the first step in dealing with them.</p> <p>It takes practice to recognize emotions. Sometimes they can be so sudden and powerful that it's hard to sort out exactly what you're feeling. The best way is to pause and pay attention for a moment when you first notice yourself feeling upset. Try to name what emotion you're feeling without judging yourself. Say to yourself, "I feel angry [or sad, or frustrated]".</p> <p>If you're upset but aren't quite sure why, it can help to talk to someone you trust, like a close friend, family member, or a&nbsp;<a href="https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/weight-therapists.html/">therapist</a>. Talking things over can also help people figure out how to deal with your feelings.</p> <p>If it's hard to talk about your feelings or you think people won't understand, keep a journal, draw or paint, or do something else that helps you sort through difficult emotions. The more you take time to explore your feelings, the more skilled you become at coping with emotions as they come up. That can make it easier to find solutions to problems.</p> <h3>Social Concerns</h3> <p>An overweight person may worry about what others think. When people judge you unfairly, it can make you feel like it's your fault. Well-meaning parents, siblings, or friends can sometimes make things worse by making "suggestions" about food or exercise. These good intentions may come across as criticism.</p> <p>Some teens who are overweight are teased or bullied. Teasing and bullying can make you feel sad or embarrassed. Fear of being judged or rejected might make you shy away from people. You may stop doing things you enjoy. But the best thing to do is to take your mind &mdash; and other people's &mdash; off your weight and back onto you as a person.</p> <h3>Social Concerns: What You Can Do</h3> <p>Here are some ideas to help you deal with social situations:</p> <ul class="kh_longline_list"> <li><a href="https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/volunteering.html/">Volunteer</a> for something you really like doing. The people you volunteer with will share the same interests, so you'll all be focused on a common goal.</li> <li>Join after-school clubs and other activities.</li> <li>Find out what's going on at the library, the YMCA, or a local drama group.</li> <li>Focus on building one or two close friendships. Knowing that you have a couple of true friends who are always there for you can help anyone deal with life's ups and downs.</li> </ul> <p>Remember that everyone feels <a href="https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/shyness.html/">shy</a> when stepping into a new situation, even people who seem really confident. You may want to ask a friend to join you when trying new activities.</p> <p>But what about when friends and family aren't giving you the support you need? If you feel pressured or misunderstood by friends or family, tell them how you feel. For example, tell them it doesn't help when they call you out when you slip up. Let people know what you appreciate (such as praise when you do well) and what you don't like (such as comments about weight or lecturing about food or exercise).</p> <h3>If You're Bullied</h3> <p>If you're being teased or <a href="https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/bullies.html/">bullied</a>:&nbsp;</p> <ul class="kh_longline_list"> <li>Find a friend you can be with you when the bully is around.&nbsp;</li> <li>Talk to friends who support you.</li> <li>Write in a journal about how people's comments make you feel. Then use positive statements about yourself to get past the hurt and remind you of your good qualities. For example, if a bully says, "You're fat!" say to yourself: "My weight is not what I wish it would be, but I am a kind, interesting person."</li> <li>Ignore teasing, bullying, and inappropriate comments. But if the situation is really getting you down, you may want to stand up for yourself. The best way to do this is to speak back confidently. Say positive things about yourself and talk about your strengths without confronting the person in a way that might make things worse.</li> <li>Don't let your emotions take over. Crying or getting angry shows the bully that he or she has hit a nerve &mdash; and that may just make the bullying worse. Losing your temper also can make you feel less powerful and in control.</li> <li>Talk to a <a href="https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/school-counselors.html/">school counselor</a>, parent, or other trusted adult and ask for ideas on how to handle hurtful comments.</li> </ul> <h3>Self-Esteem</h3> <p>Some people who are overweight have very good <a class="kh_anchor">self-esteem</a>. They're able to focus on their accomplishments and take pride in themselves. But some people who struggle with their weight also struggle with low self-esteem &mdash; especially when other people can be so unkind.</p> <p>When we have negative thoughts and feelings about <a href="https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/body-image.html/">our bodies</a>, these feelings may overflow into other areas of life. Negative thoughts can affect a person's confidence and make it difficult to accomplish goals. For example, someone who thinks "I can't do this" or "Why bother, I'll always be overweight" may have a harder time <a class="kh_anchor">losing weight</a>. This is one reason why it's important to recognize any negative emotions and work hard to change them.</p> <p>The amount of time it takes to lose weight, and the natural tendency to slip up occasionally, can leave people feeling discouraged and disappointed. This can lead to self-criticism, anger, or even guilt about letting friends or family down.</p> <p>Sometimes, difficult feelings &mdash; and constant worry over weight &mdash; make a person eat more. But there is a way to break the cycle and build healthier self-esteem.</p> <h3>Self-Esteem Issues: What You Can Do</h3> <p>Start by loving yourself. If you feel tempted to put your body or yourself down, focus instead on your talents and things you do well.</p> <p>Another great way to boost self-esteem is to accomplish goals that you set for yourself. If you're trying to lose weight, make your goals about changing behaviors, not about losing weight. Set small, realistic goals and then check in regularly to watch your progress. For example, your goal may be to pack a <a class="kh_anchor">healthy lunch</a> one day a week.</p> <p>Another way to feel good about yourself is to find others who support you. Talk to them about how you feel and how they can help (even if you just need them to listen and understand).</p> <p>Your doctor is another wonderful resource. Ask a parent to make an appointment so you can talk to your doctor about your weight, nutrition advice, and <a href="https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/easy-exercises.html/">exercises</a> you can do. Your doctor may also be able to refer you to a dietician for help with meal planning. A school nurse is another great resource for ideas on how to take charge of your health.</p> <h3>Depression</h3> <p>When confidence fades and self-esteem takes a beating, it's harder to stick with a weight loss program.</p> <p>If you think you may be <a href="https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/depression.html/">depressed</a>, tell someone. It's especially important to tell a parent or other trusted adult (like a school counselor or faith-based leader) if you often find yourself thinking about dying or suicide. Suicide crisis line (such as 1-800-SUICIDE) or your local emergency number (911) are staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week by trained professionals who can help.</p> <p>There's no doubt that being overweight can be hard, both <a href="https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/obesity.html/">physically</a> and emotionally. But there are ways to feel better, including being aware of emotions, thinking <a href="https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/power-positive.html/">positively</a>, and finding people who support you.</p>Afrontar tus propios sentimientos cuando tienes sobrepesoAtravesar la adolescencia se asocia a todo tipo de cambios y adaptaciones, de modo que es normal que un adolescente pase por altibajos emocionales. Si, encima, una persona se enfrenta al sobrepeso, esto se puede sumar a esas emociones.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/es/teens/feelings-overweight-esp.html/5c45dce4-497b-49c8-bdf3-2be44f023146
5 Ways to Reach a Healthy WeightMost dieters regain the weight they lost by dieting when they go back to their old eating habits. Get our tips on the best ways to drop excess weight.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/weight-tips.html/63a232e0-0a78-424a-b211-edffe20e1177
A Guy's Guide to Body ImageMany people think of guys as being carefree when it comes to appearance. But guys spend plenty of time in front of the mirror. And some worry just as much as girls do about their looks.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/male-bodyimage.html/1c60a19e-cb69-4513-9d9f-df1b2d7e8045
About Overweight and ObesityWe use the words "oveweight" and "obese" a lot, but they actually have medical meanings. Find out how doctors diagnose these conditions and what they mean for a person's health.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/obesity-overweight.html/3db5b37c-b543-4171-bd34-d7d71e1a51eb
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Losing Weight: Brandon's Story (Video)Brandon, 17, has lost 70 pounds through better eating and exercise. In this video he talks about what inspired him and how he stayed on track.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/brandon-vd.html/ab7550bc-7cc3-4963-a176-43213006bfd0
Managing Your WeightHas your doctor told you to lose weight? Get ideas on food, fitness, and staying motivated. We've also got weight management tools and recipes designed just for teens.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/center/weight-center.html/8de0bf98-4fe9-4783-9652-308bd6d10bbb
Nutrition & Fitness CenterVisit our nutrition and fitness center for teens to get information and advice on food, exercise, and sports.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/center/fitness-nutrition-center.html/4e575d37-8408-47c1-bdcb-41197f1fd0eb
StressThere's good stress and bad stress. Find out what's what and learn practical ways to cope in this article.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/stress.html/88a50321-4034-483d-a46f-91b524f48666
Therapy and Weight ManagementLosing weight can feel like a challenge, no matter how much we want it. It can sometimes seem like our minds are working against us. That's where weight-management counselors can help.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/weight-therapists.html/d718cd12-ea3c-4f11-ae1a-24fa0827850b
Weight Management: Strength Training Exercises (Video)These videos guide teens through basic strength training exercises. Anyone can do these exercises, and they work well as part of a weight-loss plan.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/strength-training-vd.html/44154c15-9bfa-4f0d-aa92-df98541ba14b
When Being Overweight Is a Health ProblemA couple of pounds of extra body fat are not a health risk for most people. But when people are severely overweight, it can cause health problems.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/obesity.html/86e35f4d-c4b7-42bf-84a0-f23b54b1965a
kh:age-teenThirteenToNineteenkh:age-youngAdultEighteenPluskh:clinicalDesignation-behavioralHealthkh:clinicalDesignation-gastroenterologyAndNutritionWeightManagementkh:genre-articlekh:primaryClinicalDesignation-behavioralHealthOverweight and Obesity (for Teens)https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/diseases-conditions/obesity/21d9da98-95ba-481c-a3c2-d0ea46bcae5cOverweighthttps://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/nutrition-fitness-center/overweight/ea9d21fc-0af4-4744-abd7-d6d3c0096ca2Body Imagehttps://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/your-mind/body-image/5f7c5302-ec4b-4970-ae49-a0bb4050ea53Feel Goodhttps://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/managing-weight-center/feel-good/ded34d3e-3bb7-4c31-8864-38cf526e9118Dealing With Problemshttps://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/your-mind/problems/61c95196-e4ff-4b7c-9770-4cf7fc535a65Stressful Situationshttps://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/teens/stress-coping-center/stress-situations/ba842abe-1d5d-4bf9-a8ad-22470baa39f4