Disciplining Your Toddlerenparentshttps://kidshealth.org/EN/images/headers/P-toddlerDiscipline-enHD-AR1.jpgReeling in your active little one can be tough. But setting limits now helps prevent bigger problems down the road.toddler, disciplining, discipline, spanking, timeout, time outs, timeouts, time out, hitting, temper tantrum, anger, bad behavior, good behavior, frustration, fits, tantrums, bad choices, taming tempers, preschooler, one year old, two year old, three year old,, CD1Behavioral Health, CD1Psychology/Psychiatry04/23/200912/05/201912/05/2019Lauren M. O'Donnell, PsyD08/14/2018bc2387a6-37cf-445f-b896-c735e4d152c3https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/parents/toddler-tantrums.html/<p>Are there any parents who <strong>haven't</strong> felt complete and utter love for their toddler and, at the same time, frustration and anger?</p> <p>Our beloved little ones test our nerves because they're testing boundaries all around them. Every day, little by little, they're mastering new skills, and are anxious and excited to use them.</p> <p>Sometimes it's tough to reel in a toddler, but it can be done. And setting rules and limits now &mdash; when your child is learning what behaviors are acceptable &mdash; will help prevent bigger problems down the road.</p> <p>Here are some ways to help you keep your youngster on the right track.</p> <div class="rs_skip rs_preserve"><!-- TinyMCE Fix --> <script src="//familysurvey.org/misc/javascript/js_apps/video/kh-video-metadata.js" type="text/javascript"></script> <script src="//familysurvey.org/misc/javascript/js_apps/video/kh-video-controller.js" type="text/javascript"></script> <script src="//familysurvey.org/misc/javascript/js_apps/video/single-well-child-toddler-behavior-en.js" type="text/javascript"></script> </div> <h3>Be Consistent</h3> <p>When it comes to discipline, it's important to be consistent. Parents who don't stick to the rules and consequences they set up don't have kids who do either. For example, if you tell your toddler that a timeout is the repercussion for bad behavior, be sure to enforce it. Only issue warnings for things that you can follow through on. Empty threats undermine your authority.</p> <p>And don't forget that kids learn by watching adults, particularly their parents. So make sure your own behavior is role-model material. When asking your child to pick up toys, you'll make a much stronger impression if you've put away your own belongings rather than leaving your stuff all around the room.</p> <h3>Eliminate Temptation</h3> <p>By now, you've figured out that your toddler wants to explore and investigate the world. Toddlers are naturally curious, so it's wise to eliminate temptations whenever possible. That means keeping things like TVs, phones, and electronics out of reach. Also beware of choking hazards like jewelry, buttons, and small items that kids can put in their mouths.</p> <p>And always keep cleaning supplies and medicines stored safely away where kids can't get to them.</p> <h3>Use Distraction</h3> <p>If your roving toddler does head toward an unacceptable or dangerous play object, calmly say "No" and either remove your child from the area or distract him or her with another activity.</p> <p>It's important to not spank, hit, or slap your child. At this age, kids are unlikely to be able to make a connection between the behavior and physical punishment. The message you send when you spank is that it's OK to hit someone when you're angry. Experts say that spanking is no more effective than other forms of discipline, such as timeouts.</p> <h3>Practice Timeout</h3> <p>If you need to take a harder line with your child, timeouts can be an effective form of discipline. A 2- or 3-year-old who has been hitting, biting, or throwing food, for example, should be told why the behavior is unacceptable and taken to a designated timeout area &mdash; a kitchen chair or bottom stair &mdash; for a minute or two to calm down.</p> <p>As a general rule, about 1 minute per year of age is a good guide for timeouts. Longer timeouts have no added benefit. And they could undermine your efforts if your child gets up (and refuses to return) before you signal that the timeout has ended.</p> <p>Be sure that the timeout area is away from distractions such as toys or TV, and that you do not provide your child with any attention (talking, eye contact) while they're sitting in timeout.</p> <h3>How to Avoid Temper Tantrums</h3> <p>Even the most well-behaved toddler can have a <a href="https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/parents/tantrums.html/">tantrum</a> from time to time. Tantrums are common during toddlerhood because kids can understand more than they can express and this often leads to frustration.</p> <p>Toddlers get frustrated in other ways too, like when they can't dress a doll or keep up with an older sibling. Power struggles can come when your toddler wants more independence and autonomy too soon.</p> <p>The best way to deal with tantrums is to avoid them, whenever possible. Here are some tips that may help:</p> <ul class="kh_longline_list"> <li>Make sure your child isn't acting up to get attention. Establish a habit of catching your child being good ("time-in"), which means rewarding your little one with attention for positive behavior.</li> <li>Give your toddler control over little things. This may fulfill the need for independence and ward off tantrums. Offer minor choices that you can live with, such as "Would you like an apple or banana with lunch?"</li> <li>When kids are playing or trying to master a new task, offer age-appropriate toys and games. Also, start with something easy before moving on to more challenging tasks.&nbsp;This will build their confidence and motivation to try things that might be frustrating.</li> <li>Consider the request carefully when your child wants something. Is it outrageous? If not, try to be flexible.</li> <li>Know your child's limits. If you know your toddler is tired, it's not the best time to go grocery shopping or try to squeeze in one more errand.</li> </ul> <h3>When Tempers Flare</h3> <p>If your child does throw a tantrum, keep your cool. Don't complicate the problem with your own frustration. Kids can sense when parents are becoming frazzled and this can just make their frustration worse. Try to understand where your child is coming from. For example, if your youngster has just had a great disappointment, you may need to provide comfort.</p> <p>Children seek attention from their parents, and an easy way to get a big reaction is to misbehave. One of the best ways to reduce attention-seeking behavior is to ignore it. Continue your activities, paying no attention to your child but remaining within sight.</p> <p>Keep in mind that when you do this, your child's behavior may get worse before it gets better. This can be frustrating, but it means that ignoring the tantrum is working. Your child will try harder to get your attention with misbehavior because it has worked in the past. When your child learns that misbehaving won't get your attention, the behavior will start to improve.</p> <p>Note: Kids who are in danger of hurting themselves or others during a tantrum should be taken to a quiet, safe place to calm down. Ignoring is not an appropriate way of handling aggressive or dangerous behavior.</p> <p>Some kids will have a hard time stopping a tantrum. In these cases, try saying, "I'll help you settle down now." But whatever you do, don't reward your toddler by giving in. This will only prove that tantrums are an effective way to get what he or she wants. Instead, verbally praise your child for regaining self-control. Remember, you want to teach your child that the best way to get what he or she wants is through good behavior.</p> <p>As their language skills improve and they mature, kids become better at handling frustration, and tantrums are less likely. If you're having trouble handling temper tantrums or have any questions about discipline, ask your child's doctor for advice.</p>Poner límites a los más pequeñosNuestros pequeños nos ponen los nervios a prueba porque están explorando los límites de todo cuanto les rodea. Cada día, poco a poco, van aprendiendo y luego dominando nuevas habilidades y están emocionados por ponerlas en práctica.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/es/parents/toddler-tantrums-esp.html/cdf2dfd9-3b1b-4293-b07a-521d656e0441
Choosing Safe Toys for Toddlers and PreschoolersHow can you tell if a small toy poses a choking risk? What types of unsafe toys should you avoid for your baby, toddler, or preschooler? Find out here.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/parents/safetoys-young.html/bb23c77d-a49a-48fa-941d-53d69bea0c77
Disciplining Your ChildIt's important to be consistent about discipline. If you don't stick to the rules and consequences, kids aren't likely to either. Find out how to vary your approach to fit your family.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/parents/discipline.html/d0335a8e-7f3d-40de-8d81-0c149ed4ebd6
How Can Parents Discipline Without Spanking?Find out what the experts have to say.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/parents/spanking.html/654ca755-d944-456b-8d4d-9daf9ce02e13
Managing Your Toddler's Behavior (Video)Learn how to encourage good behavior, handle tantrums, and keep your cool when parenting your toddler.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/parents/toddlerbehavior-video.html/e7f45ed7-783f-47b1-a05e-c393861ccf3c
Safe Exploring for ToddlersToddlers are learning to talk, to walk and run, and to assert their independence. For many in this age group, "outside" and "play" are common requests.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/parents/exploring.html/11fb4c70-542a-47f8-a498-8a85a5ef9a1e
Taking Charge of AngerDid you know that anger isn't all bad? Find out more in this article for kids.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/kids/anger.html/4dc0d537-80b8-4285-8043-3752c15efe1d
Talking About Your FeelingsNoticing your feelings and saying how you feel can help you feel better. This article for kids has ideas on how to practice talking about feelings and emotions.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/kids/talk-feelings.html/1ef983f4-2c73-4b5b-9b90-b0669af591de
Taming TempersControlling outbursts can be difficult for kids - and helping them learn to do so is a tough job for the parents who love them. But just about every child can improve with the right coaching.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/parents/temper.html/eba11d0e-5247-42ae-b37a-1f1ffccba4a9
Teaching Your Child Self-ControlTantrums and outbursts can rile even the most patient parents. Helping kids learn self-control teaches them how to respond to situations without just acting on impulse.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/parents/self-control.html/51a9a101-2e71-4af4-afdf-c2362ed70e2c
Temper TantrumsTemper tantrums range from whining and crying to screaming, kicking, hitting, and breath holding. Get the facts on managing - and preventing - temper tantrums.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/parents/tantrums.html/8319b38f-042e-47fa-b387-bcc86b2e67d1
Toddlers at the Table: Avoiding Power StrugglesBy anticipating problems and offering choices, you can teach your toddler healthy eating habits and avoid power struggles about food.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/parents/toddler-meals.html/856d0183-3599-492f-a9f8-d11f8c463af2
Train Your TemperEveryone gets angry sometimes. Does your temper ever get out of control? Find out how to put a leash on it.https://kidshealth.org/ws/RadyChildrens/en/kids/temper.html/78702aa6-68d9-40b9-b3a7-51643f793cda
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