After a Nightmare
Here's how to help your child cope after a nightmare:
Reassure your child that you're there. Your calm presence helps
your child feel safe and protected after waking up feeling afraid. Knowing you'll
be there helps strengthen your child's sense of security.
Label what's happened. Let your child know that it was a nightmare
and now it's over. You might say something like, "You had a bad dream, but now you're
awake and everything is OK." Reassure your child that the scary stuff in the nightmare
didn't happen in the real world.
Offer comfort. Show that you understand that your child feels
afraid and it's OK. Remind your child that everyone dreams and sometimes the dreams
are scary, upsetting, and can seem very real, so it's natural to feel scared by them.
Do your magic. With preschoolers and young school-age kids who
have vivid imaginations, the magical powers of your love and protection can work wonders.
You might be able to make the pretend monsters disappear with a dose of pretend monster
spray. Go ahead and check the closet and under the bed, reassuring your child that
all's clear.
Mood lighting. A nightlight or a hall light can help kids feel
safe in a darkened room as they get ready to go back to sleep. A bedside flashlight
can be a good nightmare-chaser.
Help your child go back to sleep. Offering something comforting
might help change the mood. Try any of these to aid the transition back to sleep:
a favorite stuffed animal to hold, a blanket, pillow, nightlight, dreamcatcher, or
soft music. Or discuss some pleasant dreams your child would like to have. And maybe
seal it by giving your child a kiss to hold — in the palm of his or her hand
— as you tiptoe out of the room.
Be a good listener. No need to talk more than briefly about the
nightmare in the wee hours — just help your child feel calm, safe, and protected,
and ready to go back to sleep. But in the morning, your child may want to tell you
all about last night's scary dream. By talking about it — maybe even drawing
the dream or writing about it — in the daylight, many scary images lose their
power. Your child might enjoy thinking up a new (more satisfying) ending to the scary
dream.
For most kids, nightmares happen only now and then, are not cause for concern,
and simply require a parent's comfort and reassurance. Talk to your doctor if nightmares
often prevent your child from getting enough sleep or if they happen along with other
emotional or behavioral troubles.