Some people welcome new experiences and new people. They look forward to any opportunity
to socialize. They're often the first to introduce themselves and they jump into a
conversation easily. Josh is like this. For him, being friendly and outgoing is natural,
energizing, and fun. It doesn't take much effort at all.
Other people are more like Josh's friend Megan. Ever since elementary school, Megan
has thought of herself as quiet and shy. She prefers to warm up slowly to new people
or situations.
Some people may mistakenly think that Megan is standoffish or unfriendly. But it
just takes time to get to know her. Megan's classmates know she is a caring friend,
a great listener, and an amazing wit. Her closest friends know even more about her
— including the fact that she's a talented pianist who writes her own music.
What Is Shyness?
Shyness is an emotion that affects how a person feels and behaves around others.
Shyness can mean feeling uncomfortable, self-conscious, nervous, bashful, timid, or
insecure. People who feel shy sometimes notice physical sensations like blushing or
feeling speechless, shaky, or breathless.
Shyness is the opposite of being at ease with yourself around others. When people
feel shy, they might hesitate to say or do something because they're feeling unsure
of themselves and they're not ready to be noticed.
Reacting to New Things
New and unfamiliar situations can bring out shy feelings — like the first
day of school, meeting someone new, or speaking in front of a group for the first
time. People are more likely to feel shy when they're not sure how
to act, don't know how others will react, or when attention is on them. People are
less likely to feel shy in situations where they know what to expect,
feel sure of what to do or say, or are among familiar people.
Like other emotions, shy feelings can be mild, medium, or intense — depending
on the situation and the person. Someone who usually or often feels shy might think
of himself or herself as a shy person. People who are shy may need more time to get
used to change. They might prefer to stick with what's familiar.
People who are shy often hesitate before trying something new. They often prefer
watching others before joining in on a group activity. They usually take longer to
warm up to new people and situations.
Sometimes being quiet and introverted is a sign that someone has a naturally shy
personality. But that's not always the case. Being quiet is not always the same as
being shy.