As providers and caretakers, adults tend to view the world of children as happy
and carefree. After all, kids don't have jobs to keep or bills to pay, so what could
they possibly have to worry about?
Plenty! Even very young children have worries and feel stress to some degree.
Sources of Stress
Stress is a function of the demands placed on us and our ability to meet them.
These demands often come from outside sources, such as family, jobs, friends,
or school. But it also can come from within, often related to what we think we should
be doing versus what we're actually able to do.
So stress can affect anyone who feels overwhelmed — even kids. In preschoolers,
separation from parents can cause anxiety. As kids get older, academic and social
pressures (especially from trying to fit in) create stress.
Many kids are too busy to have time to play creatively
or relax after school. Kids who complain about all their activities or who refuse
to go to them might be overscheduled. Talk with your kids about how they feel about
extracurricular activities. If they complain, discuss the pros and cons of stopping
one activity. If stopping isn't an option, explore ways to help manage your child's
time and responsibilities to lessen the anxiety.
Kids' stress may be intensified by more than just what's happening in their own
lives. Do your kids hear you talking about troubles at work, worrying about a relative's
illness, or arguing with your spouse about financial matters? Parents should watch
how they discuss such issues when their kids are near because children will pick up
on their parents' anxieties and start to worry themselves.
World news can cause stress.
Kids who see disturbing images on TV or hear talk of natural disasters, war, and terrorism
may worry about their own safety and that of the people they love. Talk to your kids
about what they see and hear, and monitor what they watch on TV so that you can help
them understand what's going on.
Also, be aware of complicating factors, such as an illness, death of a loved one,
or a divorce. When these are
added to the everyday pressures kids face, the stress is magnified. Even the most
amicable divorce can be tough for kids because their basic security system —
their family — is undergoing a big change. Separated or divorced parents should
never put kids in a position of having to choose sides or expose them to negative
comments about the other spouse.
Also realize that some things that aren't a big deal to adults can cause significant
stress for kids. Let your kids know that you understand they're stressed and don't
dismiss their feelings as inappropriate.