When Can I ‘Go Out’ With Someone?

While crushes (romantic feelings towards someone) can happen as early as elementary school, kids in middle school may start talking about “going out.”

Usually, this means that two people let each other know they like each other. They might talk on the phone, text, or spend time together in a group of friends. But most kids won't “go out” on a date, just the two of them. The truth is that you’re safer waiting until you’re in high school or college to start going on dates or spending a lot of time alone with someone you like.

What If Someone Asks Me Out?

If somebody asks you to “go out” or if you want to ask somebody to “go out,” think about what this means to you. What do you want from the relationship, and what you expect to happen? You can “go out” with someone if you both like each other and want to, but the best advice is to go slowly because it's easy for kids to get their feelings hurt. And if you’re ever uncomfortable with anything the person says or does, tell an adult you trust.

What If a Person Likes Me Only as a Friend?

If you ask someone out and that person says no or if someone decides to stop going out with you, try your best to accept it and be nice to the person. It might feel like the end of the world, but know that this feeling is normal and won’t last forever. Your feelings will change someday.

It's also a good idea to talk to your parents or another trusted adult. They’ve likely been through what you’re going through. They can give tips for healthy ways of coping when someone doesn't like you back, like admitting how you feel but not thinking too much about the negative stuff. This just means that one time, with one person, things didn't work out how you had hoped.