Every book on parenting will tell you that life forever
changes after the birth of a child. So parents of twins (or triplets or more!) can
feel as if they've left the hospital and arrived home on a different planet.
The arrival of multiple newborns can bring medical, logistical, financial, and
emotional challenges for a family. But with more and more families having twins, triplets,
quadruplets, and more also means an increase in resources to help them.
Often, parents who are expecting multiples find that other families who've been
through the it are a great help.
What Changes Can I Expect With Multiples?
Some of the differences in lifestyle that multiple births bring are easy to prepare
for. Standards for household neatness will likely have to relax for a few years, unless
you can afford to hire a house-cleaning service. You'll get a lot less sleep, as multiple
babies mean frequent feeding and care at night.
Costs also can be high. Those that come with newborns — for diapers, clothes,
food and medicine, high chairs, toys, car seats, etc. — will be higher. Even
the cost of health care for the delivery of twins is more than with a single birth.
Add to this the cost of expanded living space, a larger vehicle, and possibly part-time
help in the home. One partner may even need to give up an income to stay home and
take care of the babies.
Also, kids born as part of higher-order births (triplets or more) have a higher rate of disability, especially if they're born prematurely. So there's
the possibility of having to manage the costs associated with caring for a child with
special needs.
Some stores give discounts for families with multiples, but large-scale donations
of formula and diapers from major manufacturers are much less common than they once
were. At the same time, family and friends with babies, social service agencies, nonprofit
groups, and support groups can be good sources of hand-me-downs and can help you meet
the needs of your babies.
Some changes may come as more of a surprise. Having less time for each individual
baby can make you feel guilty or sad. These emotions can become even more complex
if you already have other children. Any stress and tiredness associated with caring
for your kids can sometimes have an effect on your relationship
with your partner.
Yet despite all of the challenges, multiples also bring great rewards. You'll love
several babies at once and marvel at the relationship between them, which is a very
special one. And there's a fascination surrounding multiples that is hard to deny.
Where Can Parents Get Help?
When caring for multiple babies, it's important to get extra help. Some families
hire help, some rely on volunteered time from friends and family, neighbors, fellow
parishioners, or support groups for parents of multiples.
Before your babies are born, think about the levels, sources, and types of help
that would feel the most comfortable for you and your family.
Volunteers could bring food, bathe babies, shop, clean, or babysit while you nap
or get out of the house. They can even run errands for you. But also consider how
comfortable you'll feel having other caretakers in the house.
Even though there's no one right way to raise your multiples, it might help to
see what other parents have done. Look for a support group for parents of multiples
in your town.
When you're setting up your network of volunteers, keep in mind the health of your
newborns. Infants born prematurely can be particularly vulnerable to infections, including respiratory syncytial virus (RSV),
a flu-like illness that can be highly contagious and cause serious health problems.
Make sure everyone who helps around the house washes
their hands well and often. It's also important that those caregivers know about
any medical problems the infants have.