I want to get a Pap smear because I'm sexually active. But each time I talk to my mom about it, she says I have to wait until I'm 20. What can I do to convince her?
– Nicola*

First, congratulations on knowing how important it is to get a pelvic exam if you're sexually active. The next step is helping your mom understand how important it is, too.

You could start by showing your mom our article for parents called "Your Daughter's First Gynecological Exam." Doctors now recommend that girls have their first gynecological appointment between the ages of 13 and 15. Not all girls need Pap smears, but any girl who's had sex needs to have a pelvic exam.

If you've told your mom that you're having sex, tell her that you want to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Let her know that you want to avoid complications with having kids later on — and prevent getting really sick now. Even if you've been using condoms (the best way to protect against STDs if you're having sex), you should still get tested.

But what if you feel like you can't tell your mom you're having sex or if you still can't convince her you need an exam? Tell her you want to go to the doctor to get something checked out "down there" — like a concern about your periods. At the appointment, ask to talk to your doctor privately without your mom in the room. Explain why you think you need a pelvic exam, and possibly a Pap smear.

If you're not able to get an appointment with your family doctor, you can still get a pelvic exam by visiting a local health clinic, such as Planned Parenthood. Check your phone book or go online to find a location near you.

For more on this topic, check out the box below.

Reviewed by: Larissa Hirsch, MD
Date reviewed: July 2008

Have a question? Email us.

Although we can't reply personally, you may see your question posted to this page in the future. If you're looking for medical advice, a diagnosis, or treatment, consult your doctor or other qualified medical professional. If this is an emergency, contact emergency services in your area.

*Names have been changed to protect user privacy.

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