Dealing With Friends
Returning to school after a long absence can sometimes bring a lot of extra attention your way. This can be harder to deal with if cancer has changed your appearance. If you're feeling a little self-conscious, like if you've lost or gained weight, try to find some clothes that fit how you are now and make you feel good.
If you've lost your hair, do what feels right for you. Maybe it's wearing nothing on your head. Or perhaps it's styling a look with hats or scarves, or finding a wig that works for you. As with any look, it may take some time to find a style you're comfortable with, so have some fun experimenting.
Your family and friends are likely to be your greatest supporters at this time. But as you probably already know, not all friends are created equal. Some stand beside you no matter what. Others can be less capable of understanding.
Once you get back to school, you may decide that some people in your circle are no longer worth your time or energy. You also might find that others want to be helpful but just don't know how. Maybe they aren't sure what to say — or maybe they have questions but are afraid of seeming insensitive.
Talking with friends about your cancer can help them understand what you went through. But how much or how little you share — and with whom — is completely up to you. If you feel comfortable going into detail about your experience, great. If not, it's perfectly OK to say, "I don't feel like talking about that right now" or to change the subject. It's all a personal choice. Your true friends will accept you whichever decision you make.
Coping With Stress
Once you go through something like cancer, you may find that things are not exactly like they were before. That's understandable. You've gone through physical and emotional changes that most of your friends and family haven't. It's not surprising that many people in your shoes describe the process of coming home as "finding a new normal."
So go easy on yourself as you find what works for you. If you have some bumps in the road — feeling stressed out, having trouble sleeping, struggling in class, or looking for excuses not to go to school, for example — talk to someone about it. Your parents, the school counselor, and your doctor are all people who want to see you do well and know how to get you the help you need to get back on track.
You might also want to try a few things at home to help you deal with your emotions. Keeping a journal, drawing or painting, or making a scrapbook are all great ways to "check in" with your feelings. They can also help you see how far you've come in your journey back to health.
Connecting with a support group — whether online or in person — is also a great way to share your fears and concerns with other teens who know exactly how you feel. Maybe you met people in hospital who have already gone through this or are going through it at the same time you are. Reach out to them. They could probably use your support just like you need theirs.
It may take a little while, but things will get easier. And who knows? Once you discover your new normal, you might find it's even better than your old one!/p>
Reviewed by: Steven Dowshen, MD
Date reviewed: April 2014