Adjusting to a New Body
We become more aware of looks right around the time our bodies begin changing. This can make physical changes difficult to deal with emotionally.
Adjusting to a changing body is about more than just looks, though. Lots of teens base their self-image on how their bodies feel and perform. Until a year ago, Wes, 15, was a lean, fast sprinter who could always be relied on to win the race for his track team. Wes has ADHD, and some days it seemed like running was the only thing he could do well. So when he started developing a stockier, more muscular physique and his sprint times got longer, Wes' confidence took a serious bruising.
Changes in our bodies' appearance, performance — even such minor details as the way they smell — are all perfectly normal parts of growing up.
So what can you do to help yourself adjust physically and emotionally? Here are some ideas.
Beware — don't compare! It's natural to look at our friends for comparison. But it's not a good idea. Comparing ourselves with others is problematic because everyone develops differently and at different times. If you go through a growth spurt early, you may feel too tall. Yet your friend may be thinking that he or she is too small. It's usually hardest for the people who develop first or last.
It's also a bad idea to compare ourselves with celebrities and models. In reality, most people don't look like the limited body types shown in the media. (Actually, the models often don't look like that either: Many of those "perfect" bodies got that way through photo editing, not nature.) Ads sell fantasy, not reality.
Treat your body well. Making educated choices about food and exercise is part of developing a mind and life of your own. Healthy eating and exercise can also give you some control over how your body turns out. Plus, exercise is a mood booster. If your changing body has you feeling sad or confused, it may help to go for a walk, play with your dog, or throw a Frisbee with your friends.
About three quarters of all teens quit sports around the time their bodies develop. Often it's because the changes in their bodies influence which sports they compete in. Although you can still do any activity if you really are interested in it, some people prefer to switch to another activity. Wes put his strength and running skills to use playing football. And Nikki was able to combine her great figure with her love of dance when she discovered belly dancing in college.
Sometimes people quit playing organized sports in high school because schoolwork becomes more demanding, or because they have a more active social life that fills their time. Now is definitely not the time to stop exercising completely, though. Use this time of change to explore how your body feels doing different activities. Taking yoga, martial arts classes, or other activities that involve focusing on how the body stretches and moves can help you become familiar with your body.
Befriend your bod. Feeling like you don't know your body anymore? Just like a friendship that grows and evolves, keeping in touch with our bodies takes time. Like friends, our bodies can let us down at times. But with a little work and understanding, it's possible to bounce back.
Just like we know our friends' secrets, we know stuff about our own bodies that other people don't. For example, you may think your stomach sticks out because you spend hours focusing on it in the mirror. But the truth is, other people won't notice it like you do.
Walk tall — even if you're not! What people do notice is how you project your feelings about yourself. If you think you're too tall, it will be more noticeable if you slump over and try to look smaller. If you're self-conscious about your pimples, hiding behind your hair may cover the zit on your cheek — but you'll look awkward and uncomfortable.
As your body changes, it can help to work on good posture and walk with a sense of confidence. After doing this for a while, you'll probably become more confident too.
There's not much you can do about your height or development, but you can focus on the things that you really like about yourself. Maybe it's your curly hair or the dimple you get when you smile. Maybe it's that you are a really thoughtful person or you are good at making people laugh.
Ultimately, when you think of the people in your life that you care about the most, what they look like probably has very little to do with how much you like them.